Rest

really, really needed and really, really worth it

Who’s tired?

Image: Line drawing of a person raising their hand

I don’t love this hustle. Who is not exhausted right now?

I live in the southeastern US, in a part of the country that is not the most progressive when it comes to things like radical hospitality for people who are not white, cisgender, straight and wealthy. Watching/reading/absorbing the news (local or national) is something I do with extreme caution, because it gets to be more than I can handle pretty quickly. (And I know that I have tremendous privilege living as someone who does not have to rely on knowing the news in order to survive.) Lately, I’ve been particular tired thinking about hungry people and how hard it is to access food right now.

“A full stomach shouldn’t depend on luck. Let us be… more like banana trees.” Well, that’s beautiful.

There’s stuff in my life that isn’t on national news but still has a deep impact on me. Someone I love received a cancer diagnosis. Another person I love can’t figure out how to feed themselves and their family while also paying their housing and utility bills and keep enough gas in the car to get to work. There’s that heavy stuff. And the less heavy things, less impactful, but still tiring like CJ’s newly energized participation in the neighborhood bark alarm, and our next-door neighbor’s over the top commitment to very bright and very loud Halloween decorations that don’t seem to be going anywhere despite Halloween being several weeks ago. I have one of the best beds out there and I really love sleeping and lately, I’m not getting a lot of sleep.

I think I broke somewhere around Tuesday this past week. The chaos of the news, lack of sleep and rest, and a story about the administration of this country telling states that paid out SNAP benefits that they had to take the money back… I don’t remember the exact details, but I lost it. No sleep. No rest. Couldn’t process this kind of news. As it felt like my brain turning to scrambled eggs, I kept envisioning a scene from my favorite version of Robin Hood.

Should a cartoon hit this close to home?

Somewhere around 4am, world problems solved zero, CJ barks somewhere around 7 and Jill’s worries up in double or even triple digits, I came across this:

Rest is an essential fuel. It’s not optional, regardless of how often we treat it that way.

Taking a break from the chaos of the news is not quitting. Resting from the hustle is not giving up. Being overwhelmed isn’t a sign that there is something wrong with you, it’s a sign that something is wrong with the system.

I’m still very tired, but I’m working on resting. I’m working on not measuring my worth on what I produce or how hard I fight. I’m trying to think about the good I can do when I’ve got a little bit to go on. The justice olympics don’t need me to compete in every single event all at once. There is very important work to do, and to do it with as much meaning and love as I can, rest isn’t an option.

As a person of faith, there’s a model for me- in the Hebrew Bible and in the New Testament- the practice of sabbath rest is commanded, demonstrated, encouraged, invited. Take your pick of good examples: the Creator taking a day off; Jesus getting in the boat and going off by himself for a nap and some introvert time; prophets being told to eat before they do the work of proclaiming; farmers leaving the outskirts of their fields unplowed for both rest and to allow for the vulnerable and marginalized outsiders to gather some of the harvest for themselves… that last example shows how resting isn’t just good for the person taking the rest, but for so many others as well.

My favorite Robin Hood has a song, “Not in Nottingham.” It sings about the trails facing a town in despair. In the cartoon, the rooster Alan-a-Dale sings and then the music continues and we hear the church bells ringing and one of the church mice playing the tune on the organ. The church is empty, and Friar Tuck wonders aloud, “Maybe the sound of this church bell will bring some comfort. We must do what we can to keep their hopes alive.” With the music playing underneath that dialogue it feels like a response to the despair of the song. I think the idea of rest is keeping my hope alive right now. It’s not the only thing, but it is helping, this idea that resting is more than okay, that when we rest we are doing something to keep hope alive, for ourselves and maybe even for others.

Is there something that helps you rest? What do you need in order to do meaningful and loving work, to be a more meaningful and loving version of yourself? What kind of rest is keeping your hope alive?

I’m not going to be awesome at this all of the time. There will be days and seasons when I set rest aside to try and hustle and I imagine somewhere in the midst of it, I’ll feel the familiar pull to take a step back and force some time for rest. Maybe if we all work a bit about leaning into rest, and giving grace to those who are taking rest when they need it, maybe things will get better. Maybe things will get more than better, maybe we will learn that with resting we will find space and energy to offer more meaningful and more loving versions of our work and our lives.

For love of being like banana trees, of sleep in comfortable beds and of waffle fries,

Jill